Warning: talks about feelings.

Had a great day in the lovely Bournemouth sunshine today. Although I couldn't help but wish I was back in Pembrokeshire where I belong.

Thinking about Pembrokeshire always leads to thinking about people at home and that always leads to thinking about someone in particular.

This is the thing with being in Uni. You have a split life. And your feelings about things at home never really move along. It's like you go home, press play, things happen, and then you leave and time pauses again until you return.

I'm not saying things don't change at home when I'm gone, I'm just saying my feelings don't change whilst I'm away.

And every now and again when I'm down here in Bournemouth going about my day to day business, things, things just pop into my head. With no encouragement, no catalyst. Why is that?

It's so confusing. It makes me think about my future and who I want to be in it. And I have no place in assuming these things. I have no reason to think it would even be logical. So much has changed since all those years ago, yet my mind is still pulling me to it, like a dog on a lead barking at a toy just inches out of its reach.

Bloody annoying, I'll tell you that for free.

But the weirdest bit of all is that it will all just go away. I wont feel that way about things any more. I wont get this unstoppable train or reminders and panic that I've done something ridiculous that I can't take back. It'll all just go. Until next time.

Well this is incredibly embarrassing to be sending into the world. But maybe a few of you will have a laugh and maybe some of you will understand.

That's all for now (thank god)

Jojo xxx

Teach Me How To Dougie

Please, just teach me. I have been trying for some time now and it's really putting me at a disadvantage downstairs in Lava.

Trying to do it is even more embarrassing than just standing there on the dance floor bobbing about aimlessly.

I swear I used to have more fun when I was out. And I definitely used to get more drunk.

I'm never really drunk any more. And if I'm not really drunk I can't smooch boys. Which is EXACTLY what I want to be doing. Especially the one's that can dougie. We could dougie and smooch at the same time if I could just learn to do it.

Life is so hard sometimes.

If I lived in a perfect world boys would like brunettes. Boys in clubs would not grab your vagina as you walked past (?! Seriously, when did this become common place?).

Boys would say 'hi Jojo, you look lovely. Lets have a boogie. Let me teach you how to dougie.'

And I would say, 'Okay, I'm glad you think I am worth having a boogie with.'

But this is not the case. Boys like to grab vaginas. I really don't understand it, it's not really an easily grab-able part of the body. And I can't imagine it really does much for someone. Maybe it's like when girls Try Before They Buy....

For those of you who don't know what Try Before You buy is:

Quite simply it's when a girl touches a boys willy to decide if it's worth putting in their hoo hoo or if it is a waste of a number.

I personally am not a Try Before You Buy kinda girl. I don't really know what kind of girl I am.

I think I am a girl who likes boys with curly hair and kind eyes. But it's not really working out for me. Is that really too much to ask?

I don't want a boy with a big wallet and a huge wanger or a nice car or good skin.

I don't see the problem.

Last night me and my house-mate, Twosy, went out with the intentions of being shallow and just smooching sexy men instead of trying to work out who was actually a nice person. It didn't work. We whittled it down to these problems:

We weren't blonde.

Or boobless.

Or drunk.

Or virtually naked.

Or grinding on anything vaguely stable (walls, men or chairs are all apt obstacles to grind on, we observed)

But I don't want to be any of those things.

Alright, I'd like to have a smaller forehead and normal length toes and a flat stomach.

But I don't think I'm ugly. Jesus, I do not advise anyone to start thinking about that sort of thing.

Earlier I looked in the mirror for so long I couldn't see my face anymore for all the faults I'd picked. It just isn't worth it.

It's a sad fact to have to face...but the fact is that you must be either easy or jaw droppingly perfect to get a chance with sexy boys...or any boys in fact. They have become far too picky.

Also I would like to stop fancying inappropriate men.

CheersThanks.

That's all for now, Jojo xxx

This post was written listening to : Gym Class Heroes