Saturday 19 November 2011

Hand Grenades Humiliation and Hangovers.


Last night. Wow. Just wow.
What began as me being persuaded to come to pre-drinks for a friends birthday turned into what I can only describe as a black hole of embarrassment.

If I were to explain the night in 5 words they would be:

Vodka
Merlot
Jaeger
Falling
Sick

If I were to explain today in 5 words they would be:

Today
Has
Been
No
Fun

Firstly, I should point out that I am NEVER sick, like never (obviously that is a lie because I was sick, but I mean I'm hardly ever sick) and it transpires that I was sick last night. Twice. In the kitchen sink.

The fact that I A) didn't remember it and B) didn't believe it really does set the scene for the state that I was in. After half an hour of being out me and a pal found ourselves unexplainably on our own. How does that happen? How do you leave a pub with 9 other people and lose them in the space of what? 3 minutes?

I do not remember anything else. I think I was home by half twelve. How does that come to be?
How can that happen? Also, no-one ever thinks I'm drunk, apparently I'm quite normal when insanely mullered. This should be a blessing and I am glad that I don't suffer from the humiliating photo tagging but it also means everything I say or do is perceived to be level headed choices.

Today I have done nothing but whine and gag and act irrational. I fell asleep in my housemates bed mid conversation. I've drunk enough water to fill a bath. I haven't washed. I smell like tequila and vomit. It's now nearly midnight and I am still inconsolably ill.

No more drinking until Graces birthday. Also very excited for Dublin this weekend to see Howza and to see Barbie on Thursday. Hmm...I can't imagine being able to get away with not drinking this week.

My soul just shrivelled like a grape-to-raisin transition at the thought of bloody Guiness.
And to add insult to injury today it was assumed by my peers that I had a one night stand last night. Because that is just so my style. (sarcasm)

JOG ON I DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY.

Oh goody my shoes are mouldy again. I just love damp. Really, it is so incredible. Who knew how fast it can breed and spread to all my possessions. It's times like this I wish I still lived at home. What I would give for a warm room and mould free footwear.

Grumpfest over.

That's all for now

Jojo xxx

p.s never go spinning 5 days in a row and then wear heels, as if I wasn't like Bambi on ice as it is. My knees continued to buckle all evening. It's just such a hard life.