Matt Corby Secret Garden Gig.

Yesterday my friend Grace and I made the trip from Bournemouth to London to attend a Matt Corby secret gig in Harrow. There was an audience of fifty and the performance was in a garden.
So, very kindly, a family had opened up their home to fifty strangers, Matt, his crew and his support act, evanjack . (Check them out, really good stuff)

It was, truly, just breathtaking.
I've never experienced music in a more beautiful form. It sounds ridiculous, but I felt like my entire being was just drinking it in. Like the music was feeding my soul, regenerating my essence.

The guy radiates talent. And he is so easy to be around. He was just sat in the garden with everyone, chatting and chilling.

Now, in comparison, everything sounds so hollow. Which is a shame. But also pretty incredible.
The atmosphere was so perfect. It buzzed. People were just happy to be where they were.

That's the special thing about music, I suppose: that it can instil something special into everyone who hears it. With good music, anyway, it can change something within you.

I have returned so calm and content. Like the storm is over. Like I understand how I feel. It's been a hard few weeks for me and it is so nice to have had something settle me. To comfort me.
It's hard to let yourself be upset about things when those closest to you are hurting too. It makes you man up a bit and concentrate on trying to help them through it.

And then you hit that hard ground before you realised you were falling.

But yesterday made me realise that things will pass. Sometimes sadness will linger but it wont last forever.

Revision, Rejection and Rage.

Well what a strange week I have had.

On...uhmmm Wednesday? Thursday?

...Wednesday. On Wednesday I bumped into a guy in uni who asked me for directions to the library. I was going that way so I took him there and helped him with his stuff.

On first meeting he said " I've met you before"

I said " No, I don't think you have"

We later went for lunch at the uni cafe and discovered that we had, in fact, met before -in a club. He does not remember (thankfully) that I chatted him up and he walked away with some false-eyelashed, boob tubed girl whilst I was mid sentence.

I saw this as a good opportunity to make a good second first impression. And a second chance for him to redeem himself.

So we chatted and we got on and I kinda thought he was cool.

Next day he asked me to go to lunch with him but I stayed and worked in the library instead. That night I asked him and his pals to come for some drinks with me and my pals. He came, his friends didn't.

So he came to my house and then Ed and Murray arrived.

Man to girl ratio 3;1.

Then we walked to the bar where we met Dom and his friend (who's name I've forgotten).

Man to girl ratio 5;1.

The bar was too busy so we went to another where we met Dan and Scott.

Man to girl ration 7;1.

Then Callum arrived, completing our drinks group at a monstrous...

Man to girl ratio of 8;1.

This isn't normal. I am aware of that. But it wasn't my fault. No girls are back from home. So I had no choice.

So, as you can imagine this guy is feeling pretty weird and is understandably pretty quiet. After a drink or so everyone loosens up and is getting on well and the guys start talking about my "strange taste in men" and how I like guys with "horrible noses and weird hair".

I wondered why my friends were trying to shit all over my second first impressions. So, when he went to the toilet, I asked them what the hell they were doing talking about my taste in men in such a derogatory way infront of this guy I was trying to impress.

They looked confused and asked me how I knew him. I told them " I met him in library yesterday". Cue screams of laughter (Scott), table banging and shocked faces.

"Who brings a guy they met yesterday to a pub with 7 other men?!"

"What is wrong with you?!"

"He must be so freaked out!"

If I'm honest I over-invited in fear of drinks consisting of me, this guy and one of my friends in some weird, awkward chat, Jo has no friends kinda situation.

Okay so drinks didn't go that well. But this guy was staying at mine because he couldn't get home otherwise. SO. We walked back to mine and when we got in it was so weird. This guy was in my house, in my ROOM. With all my STUFF. I wondered what he thought to it all. Did he wish he'd never come?

So I kissed him and I didn't have sex with him (not through his lack of trying) and went to sleep.

Next day I dropped him off and that was the last I heard of him. (Although he kissed me on the cheek and said he'd see me in uni...what does this mean?!)

Now this is a very unusual situation to be in in the first place. This is a strange series of events.

But what I'm getting at is WHAT THE FUCK?

Okay so you didn't get laid. But it's not like I was grinding on you in a club. You had to stay at mine because of distance and I thought I made out like I was not the one night stand kind of girl.

It's just so tricky. My friends are always telling me I'm made of stone when it comes to guys and that I don't give anyone a chance.

This is the first time in almost a year that I've even vaguely let someone into my personal life and THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS.

I way prefer being a cold hearted, man hating spinster. It's a lot less stressful and it saves a lot of self judgement.

It's not like I wanted to be his girlfriend. I don't. I don't want to be anyone's girlfriend. But Cummaaaannnn. Social etiquette?

I get it that when I go out and men try to buy me drinks and ask for my number they are trying to get laid. But in sober world. Is that okay? Is that normal?

I guess I just expected a little humility. I was kind to him, helping him out and stuff.

Just seems a little strange...but maybe I've just been out of the game for too long.

So moral of the story? First impressions are often accurate, don't show strangers to the library, and definitely DON'T let them sleep in your bed.

That's all for now

An ego-bruised Jojo xxx