All our exams are over and the first uni year is done. I cannot believe how fast its gone.
This year has been the most stressful, hardest but most exciting year of my life so far. Everything has shifted and I feel like I've adjusted to it really well.
The amount of work I have endured this year is unreal and yet I still feel at the bottom of the course. I've scraped by this year, I really have. My work ethic has been poor, managing a pass being my main objective. I haven't really tried to achieve anything spectacular and I haven't felt that rewarding sense of success when getting my papers back.
Next year is a year for change, I need to do that bit extra to shine above the rest. I am so passionate about what I'm studying so why aren't I channeling that into my work? It's beyond me how relaxed I have been.
I'm so much happier now than I was in some of the earliest posts on here. I was reading them back, cringing at what I'd said and yet here I am, sat at my desk writing another. To be honest it's not for anyone else, I just write it to get it out, I sometimes write on here, post it and then read it back and realise things about myself I never knew I thought. I know it seems very pretentious to think anyone else cares about my life and how I feel, and I could just write a journal, but there's something about sending it out into the world of the internet that gives me a release, like I'm sending it all away out of my brain to some other place.
So I'm sorry if this blog offends you or annoys you but it is very easily avoided, I don't expect anyone to be interested in my thoughts and ramblings but it's just how I do it.
Today I met Owen's sister, I was actually a bit nervous about it because I really wanted to make a good impression. Owen has a big family and mine is teeny, so he only had to meet Muma Ayris and she is very easily impressed. Anyway, we met for tea in a little cafe here in Bournemouth and it wasn't scary at all, I was a bit self concious at first but then just realised that she is not a crazy bitch and she didn't try to test me on anything and I didn't feel judged. So that is one down and about a gzillion to go.
In other news I have ballooned to a ridiculously enlarged version of myself in the past 3 weeks, I think its a mixture of laziness, alcohol and lack of real food. I've really lost any enthusiasm in the kitchen recently so today I pootled on down to tescos and bought a basket full of fruit and veg to try and make me feel and look better.
This always happens though, I look after my weight all Winter when it's a lot less important and then give up just before Summer. It's a very flawed system but I seem to have very little control over it. From here on in its all about abs and salad and taking the stairs.
I am determined never to be bigger than a size ten until I'm at least 70 years old. I was a cute size 6-8 when I arrived at uni... that is a very distant memory, the last time I confidently picked up a size 8 anywhere was back in the Winter.
Whine, whine, whine, shut-up Ayris, just stop eating so much bread and get off your arse.
P.s I love Owen, it's scary.
Jojo xx
This post was written listening to: Basement Jaxx
This year has been the most stressful, hardest but most exciting year of my life so far. Everything has shifted and I feel like I've adjusted to it really well.
The amount of work I have endured this year is unreal and yet I still feel at the bottom of the course. I've scraped by this year, I really have. My work ethic has been poor, managing a pass being my main objective. I haven't really tried to achieve anything spectacular and I haven't felt that rewarding sense of success when getting my papers back.
Next year is a year for change, I need to do that bit extra to shine above the rest. I am so passionate about what I'm studying so why aren't I channeling that into my work? It's beyond me how relaxed I have been.
I'm so much happier now than I was in some of the earliest posts on here. I was reading them back, cringing at what I'd said and yet here I am, sat at my desk writing another. To be honest it's not for anyone else, I just write it to get it out, I sometimes write on here, post it and then read it back and realise things about myself I never knew I thought. I know it seems very pretentious to think anyone else cares about my life and how I feel, and I could just write a journal, but there's something about sending it out into the world of the internet that gives me a release, like I'm sending it all away out of my brain to some other place.
So I'm sorry if this blog offends you or annoys you but it is very easily avoided, I don't expect anyone to be interested in my thoughts and ramblings but it's just how I do it.
Today I met Owen's sister, I was actually a bit nervous about it because I really wanted to make a good impression. Owen has a big family and mine is teeny, so he only had to meet Muma Ayris and she is very easily impressed. Anyway, we met for tea in a little cafe here in Bournemouth and it wasn't scary at all, I was a bit self concious at first but then just realised that she is not a crazy bitch and she didn't try to test me on anything and I didn't feel judged. So that is one down and about a gzillion to go.
In other news I have ballooned to a ridiculously enlarged version of myself in the past 3 weeks, I think its a mixture of laziness, alcohol and lack of real food. I've really lost any enthusiasm in the kitchen recently so today I pootled on down to tescos and bought a basket full of fruit and veg to try and make me feel and look better.
This always happens though, I look after my weight all Winter when it's a lot less important and then give up just before Summer. It's a very flawed system but I seem to have very little control over it. From here on in its all about abs and salad and taking the stairs.
I am determined never to be bigger than a size ten until I'm at least 70 years old. I was a cute size 6-8 when I arrived at uni... that is a very distant memory, the last time I confidently picked up a size 8 anywhere was back in the Winter.
Whine, whine, whine, shut-up Ayris, just stop eating so much bread and get off your arse.
P.s I love Owen, it's scary.
Jojo xx
This post was written listening to: Basement Jaxx
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