Miniture Me.

Wow, sometimes the world seems so enormous doesn't it?

I sit here in my room and send messages to some of my best friends all over the world. The distance between us is sometimes unbearable.

I think it would be nice for one day, or maybe two, to grab the world and push it and squish it until I could open my door and be within walking distance to all those people who make MY world turn.

I'd collect Biki from Australia, along with Lu

Barbie from London.

Steve from wherever he is now. Blackpool?

My muma from Barcelona

Tess from Brighton

And all my friends from Wales.

It worries me how scattered we've become and how, despite our best intentions we aren't staying in touch every week. And we aren't visiting every month. And we don't know everything about each other anymore.

Sometimes we forget about the whole world and just get caught up in out own weeny bubble. We get caught up in work and love and jealousy and self image. We forget about the other 6Billion and wonder why our own lives are just so damn complicated.

And ya know what. That's okay, I'm more than guilty of that. Just today I sat in the Bath and listened to the world, my world around me. It was silent. All I could hear was the water reverberating around me and my housemate in her room watching a film and giggling, no doubt happily snuggled up to her boyfriend.

And I thought, 'you know what. On the whole my world is pretty alright at the moment, no need to worry' .

I started thinking about the other world. The big one. And I wondered how my life would be if I was someone else, somewhere else. And I just felt so tiny. So teeny tiny, infact, all I thought would come out of my mouth when I tried to talk would be a squeak. Like a little mouse or a bug roaming around in its own little minutae.

So this year I've pleadged £120 to Amnesty International. a human rights charity dedicated to trying to sort out the big world and all the little worlds within it that aren't so good.

I don't know if I did it through some sort of western guilt but it felt good. I felt better knowing that although next time I went shopping I couldnt buy that beautiful vintage dress, someone somewhere might be having a good day because of me and all the other people who support charities like Amnesty International.

And then that dress, beautiful as it is, just becomes a wash rag. Because it just doesn't compare anymore.

I've always been a sucker for charities and tramps and people who need help.

I remember in year 2 a baby bird fell out of its nest and onto the school field and it was so young. so-so tiny it didnt even look properly formed. It had no feathers. And although the teachers told me to leave it alone I had to go and look at it. I mashed up some worms with a twig and tried to feed it back to health.

I couldn't, I wasn't it's mummy. And I was so sad when the lunch bell went, knowing that it would die out there on it's own.

Me and my friend Meg held it a funeral beneath the huge oak tree. It sounds so ridiculous now but we were both so devastated. I think it was the first time we got a look in on how life rolls, and it was scary.

I don't know where this is going. I just think we need to take the time out of our own little worlds sometimes - to get a better perspective on the big one.

Because that big world connects all the little worlds together and all those little worlds can smush up worms and nurse each other back to health.

Enough for now.

Jojo

xxx

I wrote this blog listening to: Regina Spektor