Had a great day in the lovely Bournemouth sunshine today. Although I couldn't help but wish I was back in Pembrokeshire where I belong.
Thinking about Pembrokeshire always leads to thinking about people at home and that always leads to thinking about someone in particular.
This is the thing with being in Uni. You have a split life. And your feelings about things at home never really move along. It's like you go home, press play, things happen, and then you leave and time pauses again until you return.
I'm not saying things don't change at home when I'm gone, I'm just saying my feelings don't change whilst I'm away.
And every now and again when I'm down here in Bournemouth going about my day to day business, things, things just pop into my head. With no encouragement, no catalyst. Why is that?
It's so confusing. It makes me think about my future and who I want to be in it. And I have no place in assuming these things. I have no reason to think it would even be logical. So much has changed since all those years ago, yet my mind is still pulling me to it, like a dog on a lead barking at a toy just inches out of its reach.
Bloody annoying, I'll tell you that for free.
But the weirdest bit of all is that it will all just go away. I wont feel that way about things any more. I wont get this unstoppable train or reminders and panic that I've done something ridiculous that I can't take back. It'll all just go. Until next time.
Well this is incredibly embarrassing to be sending into the world. But maybe a few of you will have a laugh and maybe some of you will understand.
That's all for now (thank god)
Jojo xxx
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