Day 4 in Australia.
Amount of times have said "don't you have _____ here?" or "does everybody ____ here?" - 27
Amount of times have applied suncream - 10
Amount of mosquito bites - 2 - HURRAH
Amount of times have run frantically away from a flying insect - 46926
Amount of cockroaches in bathroom - 1
Amount of times have fallen off bed and hurt arse - 1
Having a delightful time here in Mona Vale. Very nice to see Manfriend again, although unfortunately now have to shave armpits on regular basis. The house is lovely, family are brilliant and doggy is adorable.
The flight over was very long, although in some sort of sick, masochistic way I enjoyed it. Although 'Operation Defeat Jet Lag' was less than succesful.
My flight amounted to around 26 hours, leaving London Heathrow at 10pm stopping over in Singapore and then onto Sydney arriving at local time 7.30am.
I had a truly terrific plan to avoid the dreaded jet lag. I would stay awake for the first and longest leg of the journey, then sleep for the second leg and wake up just before landing - fresh and ready to meet my Manfriend whilst also being very, very sexy.
On the first leg of the journey I had three spare seats around me - yes three! Which would have been lovely to sleep on BUT NO! MUST.STAY.AWAKE.
Watched several films, drank severals Gins, ate a lot of free snacks and did some yoga at the back of the plane to distract self from cosy nest-like space around me. Managed to stay awake - result.
Got onto next plane which was decidedly less glamorous, spacious and fresh smelling than the last. Also much smaller seats. Spare seats replaced by one very large, very smelly, British man. Tried in vain to sleep - smelly man kept laughing at i-pod, making questionable noises from bottom area and seemed to have a bladder infection- constantly asking me to move so he could 'spend a penny'.
Arrived at Sydney in delirious hysteria. Also very ugly due to lack of sleep and make-up application (had given up on life and just wanted to be in a dark, quiet place for a long, long time). Could smell the distinct aroma of my personal body odour.
Walking through the arrivals gate I felt as though I was in some terribly romantic film, I glided down the ramp with my trolley of belongings and gazed into the crowd formed at the the end. Looked around for Manfriend briefly but then decided would be much more romantic if he were the one who saw me first, so airily wandered down trying not to focus on anyone in-particular. Got to the bottom of ramp and into the group of greeters.... Hmm, actually quite hard to find people when you are so amongst them and also so five foot two. I was sure that Manfriend must have spotted me on the ramp of glory and so just waddled about a bit waiting for his approach.
Manfriend was at the wrong arrivals gate. 45 minutes later and I had wandered around a large amount, (whilst staying in the same arrivals section to ensure that we did not miss each other), gone outside three times (incase he had meant that he would meet me there), tried to call twice (but failed because I didn't know the code thingy) and then decided to set up camp on a chair.
Was just about to attempt to do something about my profound ugliness when I saw him. Relief! But also annoyance that I had not attended to my face earlier, as now felt the need to keep hiding face with hand under rouse of a yawn, in order to mask my spotty, pale skin.
The upshot is, I got jet lag, a few days when could not walk straight and one day when I fell of the bed and hurt my butt, but other than that I have come off
relatively un-scathed.Oh, also went for my first surf in Aussie waters and nearly shat my pants, much more powerful than at home....
Amount of times bikini bottoms came down to my knees -3
Amount of times I face planted the sand - 4
Pints of water involuntarily swallowed - 2
So apart from a great interdental sandblast and a few dodgy half-caught, half-fluked-through-fear waves I'd say it was pretty much a disaster. But I will try again! Wearing suitable clothing and a gumshield.
So here I am, enjoying the lovely weather, generally taking it easy and being undeniably happy and smug about my lovely life.
Will write again when have done something very embarrassing and inappropriate (tomorrow).
That's all for now
JoJo xxx
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