I haven't promoted this post because I just wanted to write some stuff and it not be forced or thought through properly.
I've got a cold. A big fat snotty gross cold.
I feel like a loser sometimes.
I miss my pal Biki and my pal Alien.
I want to be fresh and not ill and I want to be surfing and skating again.
I want to act like a lady but it makes life so boring.
I can't be bothered to be all fakely happy when I feel like poo sometimes.
I don't like it when people are rude and two faced and calculating.
I wish I hadn't chosen my housemates so early on in the year.
I wish I wouldnt keep forgetting my classes at the gym and missing them.
I've truly outdone myself at being a bad drunk so far this year.
Sometimes I wish I'd met Owen in different circumstances and with us both having different romantic historys.
But that is not how life rolls. And the point of loving someone is that some of the shit stuff becomes irrelevant because nothing that they've done in the past can change how much you love them, they still make you feel like your about to explode out of your skin when you see them
I've come out the other side of an argument with my boyfriend and not wanted to just run away, because it's meant too much for me to lose. That is something I could never, ever have predicted.
I'm so much more insecure than I thought I would ever be. I think that's because putting your heart in someone else's hands make you aware of not only the good things in yourself -that the other person loves- but the bad things that may make them like you less.
And I think in time that insecurity will fade and transform through a smokecloud into security.
I also feel uninterested in following people around like I have a dictator. I have always been a strong willed person and I cannot stand the fact that some people will trapse around after others feeling they are less important.
fuck that shit.
My mums moved to spain. I'm proud of her.
My dad's making lots of effort, it makes me feel bad for everything I've ever written about him on here.
Im so happy that I have found all my friends here and that I have such a wonderfully happy life. I'm glad that I know I'm a good person and that I can go to sleep every night with a clear conscience.
I feel very sorry for people who have somehow decided that being snidey and malicious will serve them well. Because it doesn't, it wont, and too many people can see through it for them to ever benefit from it.
The biggest things in my life right now are:
Owen
Degree
Pals
And they are all awesome. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. And I wont take it for granted.
xxxx
I've got a cold. A big fat snotty gross cold.
I feel like a loser sometimes.
I miss my pal Biki and my pal Alien.
I want to be fresh and not ill and I want to be surfing and skating again.
I want to act like a lady but it makes life so boring.
I can't be bothered to be all fakely happy when I feel like poo sometimes.
I don't like it when people are rude and two faced and calculating.
I wish I hadn't chosen my housemates so early on in the year.
I wish I wouldnt keep forgetting my classes at the gym and missing them.
I've truly outdone myself at being a bad drunk so far this year.
Sometimes I wish I'd met Owen in different circumstances and with us both having different romantic historys.
But that is not how life rolls. And the point of loving someone is that some of the shit stuff becomes irrelevant because nothing that they've done in the past can change how much you love them, they still make you feel like your about to explode out of your skin when you see them
I've come out the other side of an argument with my boyfriend and not wanted to just run away, because it's meant too much for me to lose. That is something I could never, ever have predicted.
I'm so much more insecure than I thought I would ever be. I think that's because putting your heart in someone else's hands make you aware of not only the good things in yourself -that the other person loves- but the bad things that may make them like you less.
And I think in time that insecurity will fade and transform through a smokecloud into security.
I also feel uninterested in following people around like I have a dictator. I have always been a strong willed person and I cannot stand the fact that some people will trapse around after others feeling they are less important.
fuck that shit.
My mums moved to spain. I'm proud of her.
My dad's making lots of effort, it makes me feel bad for everything I've ever written about him on here.
Im so happy that I have found all my friends here and that I have such a wonderfully happy life. I'm glad that I know I'm a good person and that I can go to sleep every night with a clear conscience.
I feel very sorry for people who have somehow decided that being snidey and malicious will serve them well. Because it doesn't, it wont, and too many people can see through it for them to ever benefit from it.
The biggest things in my life right now are:
Owen
Degree
Pals
And they are all awesome. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. And I wont take it for granted.
xxxx
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