Argh, I've been faffing about with bills and bank statements for well over an hour now. The reason being that two months into our tenancy at our house and we still havent signed up for bills or made direct debits.
Finance is really not my area but everyone else seems infinately busy and have somehow come to the decision that it is my task to complete. So, I have.
I was completely unaware that we even had two water bills. when one came in a t £3.36 I was unbelievably happy and proud of our efficiency...two days later a second bill for £22. 65 came in.
Sewrage.
SEWRAGE?!
If I'm getting charged to wipe my arse I'd rather we all shat in the garden to be frank.
Anyway, I have finally completed the mammouth task of sorting it all and have succesfully forged three signatures on behalf of my housemates.
But I only have teeny envelopes
Like super teeny. The size of my palm teeny. Whoever said you can't fold a piece of paper more than 7 times is a loser. Totally do-able.
Well, maybe six.
Anyway, year 2 of uni is going not so well. I dont think im on the right course even. I don't want to do news. I want to do cool arty projects and be on the radio.
I'm scared that this revelation will change my life if I think about it too much. But its time to get serious about my life in general isnt it? Should I really waste another year doing something I don't neccesarily need in order to achieve my dreams and aspirations?
It's a tricky one. I'm feeling so unsettledd in myself at the moment and can't quite work out why. It's like theres someone inside my brains stirring everything up until all my feelings and thoughts become a brown mulch.
I wish I could organise it all into little folders with labels on, all packed away neatly, ready for when I need each department.
All I can really say at the moment is that I have a really amazing group of friends. They are unbelieveably patient with my slightly unsettled mental state and they are always ready to listen and offer their honest advice and perspective.
I really couldn't ask for more. They know when to tell me I'm being paranoid, or insecure or out of order, and although sometimes that is hard to take it's exactly what I need.
I like that we can go out as ladies in out heels and our dresses but we can also go out in jeans, tee shirts and flats, making dicks out of ourselves all night and not care what anyone thinks.
Sometimes you just need to know that your friends are on the same page as you when everyone else seems to be reading a different book.
I'm glad to be back blogging again after a rather flattering and inspirational e-mail from a certain Miss Malone. Thank you so much for making me realise that my blog is my therapy, and that people actually read it and have an interest.
It's weird who can make you feel invinsible. Often people who may only observe or dip into your life can truly make you see sense.
Mum is in Barcelona at the moment and I am so jealous and proud of her, but I can't quite muffle that tiny selfish part of me who feels left behind.
I am well and truly independant these days, I can't ring my mum anymore for help with banking and I can't ask her to tell me what to do with my problems.
I have to make decisions on my own and trust my own judgement. If I'm not happy then only I can fix that. If I need to make an active change, that is on my head. Of course I need support off my pals, just like everyone else, but there's no one to cuddle in to who makes me feel like all my worries will come good just because I'm wrapped in their embrace. There's no one who can tell me that I am who I am and that I can be that strong girl who gets back up when she gets knocked down. That now has to come from within.
I think I've gotten quite sensitive since my mum left, and it's made everything seem so huge and scary.
Why can't I just shake the insecurities right out of me, sit on the bed and shake my legs until every little thing that has ever made me feel shit falls out the end of my toes and floats away?
I know then I would be so much happier, so much safer and so much more fun to be around.
Again, I've managed to write a blog that was not intended to become such an emotional rollercoaster, but infact ended up just that.
But like I said, this is my therapy.
That's all for now,
Jojo xxx
I wrote this post listening to : The Script.
Finance is really not my area but everyone else seems infinately busy and have somehow come to the decision that it is my task to complete. So, I have.
I was completely unaware that we even had two water bills. when one came in a t £3.36 I was unbelievably happy and proud of our efficiency...two days later a second bill for £22. 65 came in.
Sewrage.
SEWRAGE?!
If I'm getting charged to wipe my arse I'd rather we all shat in the garden to be frank.
Anyway, I have finally completed the mammouth task of sorting it all and have succesfully forged three signatures on behalf of my housemates.
But I only have teeny envelopes
Like super teeny. The size of my palm teeny. Whoever said you can't fold a piece of paper more than 7 times is a loser. Totally do-able.
Well, maybe six.
Anyway, year 2 of uni is going not so well. I dont think im on the right course even. I don't want to do news. I want to do cool arty projects and be on the radio.
I'm scared that this revelation will change my life if I think about it too much. But its time to get serious about my life in general isnt it? Should I really waste another year doing something I don't neccesarily need in order to achieve my dreams and aspirations?
It's a tricky one. I'm feeling so unsettledd in myself at the moment and can't quite work out why. It's like theres someone inside my brains stirring everything up until all my feelings and thoughts become a brown mulch.
I wish I could organise it all into little folders with labels on, all packed away neatly, ready for when I need each department.
All I can really say at the moment is that I have a really amazing group of friends. They are unbelieveably patient with my slightly unsettled mental state and they are always ready to listen and offer their honest advice and perspective.
I really couldn't ask for more. They know when to tell me I'm being paranoid, or insecure or out of order, and although sometimes that is hard to take it's exactly what I need.
I like that we can go out as ladies in out heels and our dresses but we can also go out in jeans, tee shirts and flats, making dicks out of ourselves all night and not care what anyone thinks.
Sometimes you just need to know that your friends are on the same page as you when everyone else seems to be reading a different book.
I'm glad to be back blogging again after a rather flattering and inspirational e-mail from a certain Miss Malone. Thank you so much for making me realise that my blog is my therapy, and that people actually read it and have an interest.
It's weird who can make you feel invinsible. Often people who may only observe or dip into your life can truly make you see sense.
Mum is in Barcelona at the moment and I am so jealous and proud of her, but I can't quite muffle that tiny selfish part of me who feels left behind.
I am well and truly independant these days, I can't ring my mum anymore for help with banking and I can't ask her to tell me what to do with my problems.
I have to make decisions on my own and trust my own judgement. If I'm not happy then only I can fix that. If I need to make an active change, that is on my head. Of course I need support off my pals, just like everyone else, but there's no one to cuddle in to who makes me feel like all my worries will come good just because I'm wrapped in their embrace. There's no one who can tell me that I am who I am and that I can be that strong girl who gets back up when she gets knocked down. That now has to come from within.
I think I've gotten quite sensitive since my mum left, and it's made everything seem so huge and scary.
Why can't I just shake the insecurities right out of me, sit on the bed and shake my legs until every little thing that has ever made me feel shit falls out the end of my toes and floats away?
I know then I would be so much happier, so much safer and so much more fun to be around.
Again, I've managed to write a blog that was not intended to become such an emotional rollercoaster, but infact ended up just that.
But like I said, this is my therapy.
That's all for now,
Jojo xxx
I wrote this post listening to : The Script.
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