We often refer to our lives as being split into chapters - being a child, a youth, an adult. When we look closer we see that we close and open chapters on a regular basis, be it in work, in love or in friendships.
Throughout the space of a year so much can change and so many chapters can be read and forgotten.
In this year alone I've felt myself change and grow. I've been sad and found happiness. I've missed friends and met new. I've been in good moods and bad moods. I am an ever changing canvas, a lava lamp of decisions and movements, always transforming.
And now I find myself in such a dramatically different state to how I arrived in Australia. I have made a life for myself here. It has details and shading, friends and memories, work and routines - a special fingerprint in this community that's just for me.
Soon I leave for India, a place that will no doubt shake me up and make me re-consider all of my beliefs and judgments once again. And I feel happy. I feel happy to go and see something I could never see here.
There are some times in life that you struggle to leave behind. Those chapters where you find yourself constantly re-reading the same page, hoping for a different ending while the story twists and turns unexpectedly. It's okay to not want to let go straight away, to try and devour all that beautiful prose like a toddler licking her fingers. It's okay as long as you know that no matter how much you want to re-live it, you can't re-write it. That way, one day you'll let it go. You'll remember how much you liked the characters and the emotions but you'll know that it is in the past.
I feel as though I am floating in that blank page between chapters. Like I'm that breath as you turn the page - two chapters sharing a moment.
When I fly back to the UK in December, I know I will feel a great sadness to leave Australia and my year of freedom behind. I will almost definitely cry knowing the miles that will soon separate me from some truly incredible people.
I will feel such sadness at leaving my best friend behind. A person who taught me how to love honestly, with blind adoration and passion. A person whom I adore for their capacity to love. But this is how my story goes.
I guess all we can do is try to make the book of our lives a good read.
That's all for now,